The Boy With No Name

I don’t have a last name. Khan, the one I’m using is my middle name; it is my Mama’s maiden name. She married when I was seven, to a man who I now call Papa, I guess, and I’d love to say, he’s my father, I don’t have anyone else.

This blog entry’s about my name, my real father, and the fact that I don’t care who he is.

Saturday, December 5th, I found another copy of my Baptismal Certificate that has the name Robert B. Tan on the parents’ names line. That name is definitely not on my Birth Certificate, for in there, I was declared ‘father-less,’ or however it’s supposed to be put. I never cared about checking my Baptismal Certificate, until when I saw it accidetally for the first time in 22 years.

I grew up not knowing who my real father is, not even his name. I never cared about it anyway. Like, what for? I have a father whose name I don’t go by, but WHT, he’s my father. His name’s Christopher Lagman, and I love him. We love hating each other, but that’s part of how a parent-child relationship is supposed to be. The last thing I need is to ask my Mama about the person who impreganted her with me in 1986, and ran away. Such a douche, if you ask me, that Robert B. Tan is.

I must admit, it felt weird finding out about something you never wanted to be involved in. For me, it’s knowing who my real father is.

What’s awesome is that I have both Chinese and Pakistani blood in me, and I feel so gorgeous. I’m multi-racial. Pakistani (Khan), Chinese (Tan), and Spanish (Castillo). Thanks, Robert.

Here’s what’s funny:

My name’s Arden Joseph Khan Tan

You figured, KHAN – TO – TAN. If you’re Pinoy and a perv, you’d figure that out.

Sidebar: The Boy With No Name, one of the best albums of all time. 6th studio album by Travis, with the songs Closer, Selfish Jean, My Eyes, and Big Chair. AWESOME!


~ by ardenkhan on 09/12/2009.

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